where i have actually felt your breaking heart.

i can feel you now
with me,
being close to you.

or close to the streets
and corners you walk on
everyday

i hear your breathing even.

that familiar
rapid
and sometimes slow
but always deep
breathing
as if your heart is breaking
all the time

my eyes have long
memorized your eyes
on the clouds
that are gray,
that are pale yellow,
that are sometimes,
black.

my eyes have long
memorized your pains
in the air
that are heavy
that are light
that are sometimes,
absent.

and then as the sun rose today,
i was in that same corner
where i was
three lifetimes ago,
where i wasn't yet
just reminiscing
or seeking your eyes on the clouds

i was in that same corner
where i was
three lifetimes ago
where i have actually
kissed your teary eyes.

i was in that same corner
where i was
three lifetimes ago
where i have actually felt
your breaking heart.

kung bakit minsa'y pinapaslang ang pag-ibig

minsan ako'y kriminal.

sinisikil,
pinapaslang,
ibinuburol at
nililibing ko ang pag-ibig

sapagkat ang pag-ibig
minsa'y
makapangyarihan
dinudurog ang buong
pagkatao,
ang buong puso
sampu ng kaluluwa
ng umiibig.

tulad nitong bago kong
pag-ibig.

walang ibang sagot
kundi ang kamatayan
sapagkat
hindi sapat
na ika'y iniibig ko lamang
sapagkat
kailangang ako'y ibigin mo rin.

ngunit may iba kang mahal
hindi ako
kung kaya't bago mo malaman,
paalam

ngayong araw na ito'y
salarin ako
ng pag-ibig ko sa iyo

ibuburol ko ngayong gabi
at sana,
sana'y mailibing na rin
ng tuluyan.


*para sa bago kong pag-ibig, paalam.

a heart longing for its pair

[para kay tom e.]

this passing night
now finds its meaning from
a nearby heart
that is,
like me,
longs for its pair heart.

when it's over,
this night,
i will keep it inside my heart's
deeper corners
but not too deep

not in the
deepest corner

so that tomorrow
when the first ray of sun
touch my face,
i will hold it with my left palm
and kiss it before i sleep.

each night,
forever.

you kissed me first

you visited in my last night's dream,
and the other night too.

you reign again
in my night universe,
entering into me,
even in my slumber.

you who never wanted to admit
you feel too.

you,
who always,
always told me
it was just because
you taught
i might be
who you can,
who you may,
who you need.

but last night
in my dream,
it was you
who traveled through
the island of my body
that always
long for your hands

and it was you
who kissed me first.

just like the first time
we shared
a bed.

some lines...

midnight melody

kun sa matag nakong pagginhawa
ikaw ug ikaw ra ang hinungdan,

dili magduhaduha
kining akong kasing-kasing,

mosawm ko sa dagat
bisan pa man ang lawas
dili anad sa paglangoy

o kahay molupad ko
sama sa langgam paingon
sa iyang bay
bisan pa man og
pangitaon pa nako
ang akong pako.

ingon niana,
buhaton nako
bisan og unsa pa man
aron maduol kanimo

bisan gani ang pagkab-ot sa bulan
ug mga bitoon,
akong sulayan

alang kanimo.

kay sa matag nakong
pagginhawa
ikaw ang akong gipangita.


sa pagsilang ng umaga

hindi iindahin
anumang kirot,
hinagpis at pasakit

kung ang pagluluwal
ng isang umaga'y
bumubura sa bawat ala-ala
at humihilom sa mga sugat
mula sa kahapong
pilit nating nililisan.

ngunit hindi tiyak
itong paglimot.

hindi tiyak
itong ninanais na
lubusang paglimot.

hahayaan at ipauubaya
sa silahis ng araw
anumang kirot
na dulot
ng pagsilang ng
umaga

tiyak naman nito
ang pagbusilak
ng bagong panata
bagong pag-asa.

community- based.

killing you in my mind

i miss you.
terribly, terribly so.

though you have not touched me and i have not touched you for a long time,
believe it or not,
i can still smell your sweat on my chest, i can still feel you under me,
i can still smell your whole body.

it is true, i have memorized you. i have memorized your whole being that even from afar i can hear your heart beating, beating fast.especially in those dark quiet corners of the night.

and yet, goodbye.
i have learned to kill you everyday.inside my mind.

between the hills and the sea

between the hills and the sea,
your image appears
gracing the roads and highways
of a territory newly found
like a certain wind,
a beautiful wind.

and the clouds form pleasantly
your face
that has become familiar
in my every sunrise,
in my every dream,
in my everyday
filled by thoughts of you.

i touch the wind
and it seems like,
i am touching you.

today,
you have touched my heart
again.


July 13, 2008
Poetry on a busride
Negros Occidental